Tiresome

2003-07-31

By next March, I will have lived on three continents.

Not just been ON, but LIVED. A home, car, job. And I’m only 23.

I have so much excitement in my life, I wonder if I’ll ever want to settle down. My needs haven’t changed much in the past four years… I always want to be able to get up and go; doesn’t matter where. The ability to leave everything comfortable around me, with no regrets. Most of the time, I’m able to achieve that.

It gets trickier now that I’ve fallen for someone new. I didn’t want this to happen now, not this close to my departure, but no matter how much I guard myself, it doesn’t seem to help. Helplessly falling.

But it gives me something strong to come back to, and that’s reassuring. I want to be able to look forward to something, anything, at any point in my life.

**

More shots tomorrow morning. I’m becoming used to the constant ache in my arms, the bruises… luckily I haven’t gotten sick yet from any of them (knock on wood). My doctor is going on vacation soon, so I’m not sure how that’s going to work out.

**

I feel prepared. I love my life here, I really do… Canada is a beautiful place to spend the summer. I have a wonderful boyfriend who I’ve known for almost seven years, I’ve got a wonderful little house and it’s sunny and warm here. But then, I know I need to get away from here. Too familiar. It’s beginning to get tiresome.